Cindy was a friend of a friend, with an introduction coming sometime after I took a long drive. I remember that because I went to our mutual friend’s house and remember thinking that this was one of the furthest trips I had taken with just friends – no parents involved. The friend and I knew each other well, but later grew apart. Cindy and I were instant friends & more – the attraction was very quick to develop since the trip was short. We started to call and write each other as this was in the day before email, IM, and Skype. We only saw each other a few times each year, but I spent many hours thinking about her. Okay, so why the discussion about Cindy? Well, it’s Trish’s fault…
There is a song by Trish Yearwood called The Song Remembers When. It is so accurate with my memories of Cindy.
There are a couple of songs by Fleetwood Mac that bring back instant memories of her and our time together. She and I sitting and holding each other on her basement couch, doing thing that adolescents do, getting closer by the hour. I am sitting here smiling as I write this, thinking nothing but pleasant thoughts about those times.
Cindy is an only child – at least from what I remember. Her dad was a mailman – and actually treated me with respect. He knew that Cindy was happy with me, and that was really all that he cared about. I don’t remember her mom much, but knew that it was a loving home. Many years later, I ran into someone from that small town who knew her Dad – and they related the warm kindness that I always felt in their home.
I don’t recall why we broke up, but have no bad memories from that time. I believe that it was a logistical issue – we lived an hour apart and really had to work hard to get to see each other. Oh yes, we were young, car-less and poor. It’s the sucky part about growing up.
We lost touch.
Times changed and the Internet was created by Al Gore and people-search engines were created. Cindy was located.
We’ve chatted via email a few times since then, always leaving me with a smile. I heard that she was divorced from an awful man, and is now married to a wonderful one. How someone could treat this woman poorly just amazes me. When asked if she remembered me, she said, “Yes, you’re the one that got away.”
I hope you’re happy now – God knows you deserve it!
Monday, August 28, 2006
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Marybeth - final thoughts
Just when you are at your highest point, life takes an unexpected turn. I believe that it’s part of God’s plan to make sure you experience many facets of life when you are young so you can survive the real world, parenthood, and eventual old age and death.
I knew that Marybeth and I were meant to be together – I just wasn’t sure of the context. We were, first and foremost, best friends. I could tell her anything and know that I could count on her ear or her shoulder for as long as I needed it. I certainly tried to be there for her as well and believe I was on more than one occasion.
We talked at length about the two of us and where we were headed with life. Both of us made the disclosure that we were heading back to school. I was going to my previous institute of higher education; she was heading to a business school for a 2-year administrative degree. While we toyed with the idea of dating, we knew it would be completely unfair for us to expect that we would see each other while 200 miles apart and on a student’s limited financial resource plan. I believe that we both knew it was a delay to be together, not finality in destiny. She was, after all, my soul mate.
So, we both decided to date other people to be fair to each other… if it was meant to be, it would be.
When I was preparing to go back to school, I met Jane. She would single-handedly help to break the bond that MB and I had formed. Jane was a very good looking 18-year old, also a waitress in the restaurant. There was an attraction that I couldn’t explain. She was perky, was a recent high school graduate, and was heading to the same university that I was in August. It was very convenient for both of us to begin a relationship. Jane lived at home with her mother, the product of a bitter divorce. Jane was also the baby in her family, but daddy had divorced the very notion of a family, It had been years since she had talked to her father. Both Jane and her mother were very self-sufficient, but enjoyed having a man around. I became close to her mom, and enjoyed being the man in the house when I was there.
So, she and I dated throughout that summer, and then headed off to school together. Trouble began soon afterwards. Jane had dated few boys in high school, most of her time spent with a single young man. For some reason, they broke up as seniors and she was flying solo when we met. Her looks were really nice – very pretty, long, blonde hair, and a large chest. Not the kind of girl I had ever dated. I had a trophy on my arm to say the least. With Jane being a virgin, we didn’t have sex to get in the way of our relationship. However, Jane and I finally consummated the relationship because she had waited for the right person and I was it. As you can guess, it was pretty much downhill from there.
Jane was jealous of the relationship that MB and I had developed. Jane and I just didn’t have anything much in common other than the mutual attraction. It was certainly not enough to base a long term relationship on. She became very jealous of my discussion of MB, so asked (told) me that I had to stop seeing MB completely. The most stupid thing I’ve ever done was to agree. I was thinking with my groin, not my heart. I know that I broke MB’s heart when we talked about this, but heard her when she told me that I should never be with someone who asked me to do such a thing. Shortly afterwards, Jane and I broke up in a bitter fight. While we attempted reconciliation at one point, I knew I had grown beyond where she was at the time. Bittersweet memories and the start of the destruction of the relationship with my soul mate.
Marybeth never returned once she left for school. She got a job right out of school in NYC, and never looked back. She and I talked after that, but it was never the same. I asked her to be in my wedding and she agreed. It must have been very hard for her to be there – and I never gave any thought to that fact.
I talked to MB only once after that. She had tried to commit suicide, but was found by her sister. She told me that her therapist told her to break ties with her old life – the painful life. I hate to think that my immaturity with Jane’s ridiculous request may have played a part in her reaching that low point in her life, and that I didn’t find a way to reach out to her earlier. I knew that I wanted to stay in touch but respected her enough to say goodbye.
Goodbye, friend. I hope you find peace.
I knew that Marybeth and I were meant to be together – I just wasn’t sure of the context. We were, first and foremost, best friends. I could tell her anything and know that I could count on her ear or her shoulder for as long as I needed it. I certainly tried to be there for her as well and believe I was on more than one occasion.
We talked at length about the two of us and where we were headed with life. Both of us made the disclosure that we were heading back to school. I was going to my previous institute of higher education; she was heading to a business school for a 2-year administrative degree. While we toyed with the idea of dating, we knew it would be completely unfair for us to expect that we would see each other while 200 miles apart and on a student’s limited financial resource plan. I believe that we both knew it was a delay to be together, not finality in destiny. She was, after all, my soul mate.
So, we both decided to date other people to be fair to each other… if it was meant to be, it would be.
When I was preparing to go back to school, I met Jane. She would single-handedly help to break the bond that MB and I had formed. Jane was a very good looking 18-year old, also a waitress in the restaurant. There was an attraction that I couldn’t explain. She was perky, was a recent high school graduate, and was heading to the same university that I was in August. It was very convenient for both of us to begin a relationship. Jane lived at home with her mother, the product of a bitter divorce. Jane was also the baby in her family, but daddy had divorced the very notion of a family, It had been years since she had talked to her father. Both Jane and her mother were very self-sufficient, but enjoyed having a man around. I became close to her mom, and enjoyed being the man in the house when I was there.
So, she and I dated throughout that summer, and then headed off to school together. Trouble began soon afterwards. Jane had dated few boys in high school, most of her time spent with a single young man. For some reason, they broke up as seniors and she was flying solo when we met. Her looks were really nice – very pretty, long, blonde hair, and a large chest. Not the kind of girl I had ever dated. I had a trophy on my arm to say the least. With Jane being a virgin, we didn’t have sex to get in the way of our relationship. However, Jane and I finally consummated the relationship because she had waited for the right person and I was it. As you can guess, it was pretty much downhill from there.
Jane was jealous of the relationship that MB and I had developed. Jane and I just didn’t have anything much in common other than the mutual attraction. It was certainly not enough to base a long term relationship on. She became very jealous of my discussion of MB, so asked (told) me that I had to stop seeing MB completely. The most stupid thing I’ve ever done was to agree. I was thinking with my groin, not my heart. I know that I broke MB’s heart when we talked about this, but heard her when she told me that I should never be with someone who asked me to do such a thing. Shortly afterwards, Jane and I broke up in a bitter fight. While we attempted reconciliation at one point, I knew I had grown beyond where she was at the time. Bittersweet memories and the start of the destruction of the relationship with my soul mate.
Marybeth never returned once she left for school. She got a job right out of school in NYC, and never looked back. She and I talked after that, but it was never the same. I asked her to be in my wedding and she agreed. It must have been very hard for her to be there – and I never gave any thought to that fact.
I talked to MB only once after that. She had tried to commit suicide, but was found by her sister. She told me that her therapist told her to break ties with her old life – the painful life. I hate to think that my immaturity with Jane’s ridiculous request may have played a part in her reaching that low point in her life, and that I didn’t find a way to reach out to her earlier. I knew that I wanted to stay in touch but respected her enough to say goodbye.
Goodbye, friend. I hope you find peace.
Friday, August 11, 2006
Marybeth, continued…
One of the biggest things in common with MB was our love for music. She was a huge fan of the same artists that I loved – mostly “album rock” artists like Yes, Pink Floyd, and Genesis. Genesis was her favorite, and quickly became mine. I was somewhat aware of their music, but had spent years listening to Yes and Pink Floyd – enjoying the diversity in their music from track to track, from album to album. She and I discussed the lyrics from various Genesis tracks, and the differences between the Peter Gabriel days and the post-Gabriel days into which they were maturing as a band. A few months later, she was able to get tickets to see Genesis at the Spectrum in Philadelphia. Her brother worked at the Spectrum and got the tickets from his boss. She and I had no idea where the seating was, but it was Genesis – so just didn’t matter.
MB drove the two hours to Philadelphia and found our way to the Spectrum parking lot. This was in early 80’s, so there was no strip search as we entered – just folks taking the ticket stubs. As we entered the arena, we found our way to our section – having to stop and ask several people along the way for directions to our section. Finally, they directed us down the stairs not once but twice. We were on the floor! Further direction showed us to our seats. We were in the 6th row – just to the right of center. 6th row, dead center for our favorite band Genesis! This was truly a dream come true!
Genesis was just phenomenal! They played for about two hours, then took a break and played for another 90 minutes. Phil Collins was simply at his best, and Mike Rutherford’s guitar (future Mike and the Mechanics leader) and Tony Banks’ keyboards were above reproach that night. There were other musicians as well, such as Chester Thompson who played drums when Phil was out front, and with him during the instrumental sections of songs and during a drum duo that made the recording of the session.
The whole package – my best friend, the anticipation, the performance – made this the single best concert I have ever seen.
MB drove the two hours to Philadelphia and found our way to the Spectrum parking lot. This was in early 80’s, so there was no strip search as we entered – just folks taking the ticket stubs. As we entered the arena, we found our way to our section – having to stop and ask several people along the way for directions to our section. Finally, they directed us down the stairs not once but twice. We were on the floor! Further direction showed us to our seats. We were in the 6th row – just to the right of center. 6th row, dead center for our favorite band Genesis! This was truly a dream come true!
Genesis was just phenomenal! They played for about two hours, then took a break and played for another 90 minutes. Phil Collins was simply at his best, and Mike Rutherford’s guitar (future Mike and the Mechanics leader) and Tony Banks’ keyboards were above reproach that night. There were other musicians as well, such as Chester Thompson who played drums when Phil was out front, and with him during the instrumental sections of songs and during a drum duo that made the recording of the session.
The whole package – my best friend, the anticipation, the performance – made this the single best concert I have ever seen.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Old friends
For some reason, I couldn’t sleep past about 3:30 this morning. I had a great deal of thought running around in my head, so decided to listen to music. I was listening to many different bands, from several different genres. Yes, Genesis, 3 Doors Down, and so on. I have quite the eclectic collection on my iPod shuffle. As several of the artists came on, I was reminded of many of my former friends. I say former only because I have lost touch with them. A blanket of emotions overcame me in thinking about these friends and how they each touched me. None of these take away from my life today. For the most part, I love my life today. However, that life that I love is in part to the history that brought me to today.
Marybeth, Martie, Cindy, and a few others seem to have made the deepest impressions in the tracks of my brain. The tracks of my brain – the wondering of my mind…
Marybeth
We met when working together in a restaurant; I was a manager and she, a waitress. I was struggling as a manager, as it was certainly not my life calling. It was allowing me to get around the money needed to head back to school so I could get on with my life. I was working many hours each week, working my tail off each day – enough that I didn’t have much life outside of work. Marybeth (MB) came to my restaurant when I made the “confession” that I was dating another head waitress – completely against the rules. The other waitress moved to another store in our chain so I could continue my “career” untarnished. Marybeth was a head waitress at the other location and agreed to come to our store as a “trade” so that she could get more experience in a busier location. From early on, she and I got along very well. She and I started joking around from the first day, although our shifts didn’t often match. She was the head waitress for the 3 – 11 shift, and I managed mostly the night (11 – 7 AM) shift. This, of course, meant that she was still there when I came on site. We got to know each other much better when my management skills improved and I started working second shift with her. We were quite the team. She was a very strong waitress who could always make me laugh. She had such a warm personality and a killer smile. I was falling for her in ways that I wouldn’t know for quite a while.
With the exception of spurts of business during the weekday breakfast shift, these were the busiest and the most profitable shifts for the restaurant. Sundays were particular busy and on the rare occasion that I was managing and she was head waitress, we carried off the shifts with near perfection. While I don’t remember all of the details, I do know that we had that “wow, what a day” feeling at the end of it all. Success at a full shift was rare, but always with the two of us together. Later in life, those days helped me remember that adversity can be overcome, if only in short bursts.
Marybeth, Martie, Cindy, and a few others seem to have made the deepest impressions in the tracks of my brain. The tracks of my brain – the wondering of my mind…
Marybeth
We met when working together in a restaurant; I was a manager and she, a waitress. I was struggling as a manager, as it was certainly not my life calling. It was allowing me to get around the money needed to head back to school so I could get on with my life. I was working many hours each week, working my tail off each day – enough that I didn’t have much life outside of work. Marybeth (MB) came to my restaurant when I made the “confession” that I was dating another head waitress – completely against the rules. The other waitress moved to another store in our chain so I could continue my “career” untarnished. Marybeth was a head waitress at the other location and agreed to come to our store as a “trade” so that she could get more experience in a busier location. From early on, she and I got along very well. She and I started joking around from the first day, although our shifts didn’t often match. She was the head waitress for the 3 – 11 shift, and I managed mostly the night (11 – 7 AM) shift. This, of course, meant that she was still there when I came on site. We got to know each other much better when my management skills improved and I started working second shift with her. We were quite the team. She was a very strong waitress who could always make me laugh. She had such a warm personality and a killer smile. I was falling for her in ways that I wouldn’t know for quite a while.
With the exception of spurts of business during the weekday breakfast shift, these were the busiest and the most profitable shifts for the restaurant. Sundays were particular busy and on the rare occasion that I was managing and she was head waitress, we carried off the shifts with near perfection. While I don’t remember all of the details, I do know that we had that “wow, what a day” feeling at the end of it all. Success at a full shift was rare, but always with the two of us together. Later in life, those days helped me remember that adversity can be overcome, if only in short bursts.
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